I’m sick of pain. Actual physical pain that gets so bad that you wish you were able to just slice yourself open and take out whatever is causing it and stitch yourself back up. What’s worse than the pain are all of the guesses that have been thrown my way. When I didn’t have insurance it was just scar tissue, then a lypoma (which isn’t supposed to cause pain). When I got insurance, then it became a hernia, which was ruled out by a CT scan that I had last week. By the way if you have never had one, they are pretty cool. The actual process, not the drinking of the Elmer’s glue concoction that has to coat your intestines. That is just gross, and makes your poop white. It’s not the IV either, because those have just freaked me out from the get-go. The iodine they inject you with is interesting to say the least. If I had not been prewarned about what I was going to “feel” I would have questioned the whole process.

When they inject you, the top of your head gets hot, your mouth gets a strong metallic taste in it and then your fingertips tingle. You will feel like you have wet your pants. If you have ever peed in a swimming pool and remember how warm it gets down in that area, yeah, that’s how it is. Then it’s like someone is at the end of the bed with lighter under each toe. Then you have a giant metal doughnut moving back and forth over the area being scanned while telling you to breathe or not to breathe.

  Now it’s just a mass in my muscle wall that another doctor wants to have biopsied right away. Wednesday is their “right away”. So now here I sit, in PAIN, waiting on Wednesday.