p6020011.jpg

     With the price of gas, the thought of riding a bike to and from work was exciting. After all, it’s only 2.6 miles one way, half down half up. First the front tire went flat and I had to drive. Then the back tire went flat and I had to drive. Today the back tire went flat again….on the way home. So I got to push my bike 1/3 of the way home. Normally I would have been a little on the pissed off side, but it was only 84 degrees out and exercise is exercise.

   It’s not just the bike that has began to wear a whole in my normally good sense of humor. It’s life in general. Last week Wesley had a seizure. It was just a minimal one, but it has started a whole chain reaction of emotions that I thought we were free and clear from. Imagine sitting in a doctors office that 1. is not your doctor, but an appointment with the one that could get him in the soonest. 2. not being able to understand the doc who is from an unknown country but smiling anyway. 3. having to say the words “well his biological father…….” in front of everyone there. The only thing good to come out of this is his regular doctor is taking care of all the insurance crap and will call me when the appointments are set for an EEG and an EKG.

   The thing is he has started asking questions about his sperm doner biological contributor  and i’m surprised he really doesn’t want to know much. I expect that will change over time. What he does know is that his biological contributor was beautiful to look at and took off when he was eight weeks in the oven, among other things that I won’t post here. I figure when he gets ready, if ever that happends I’ll give him all the info he needs to find the guy. As for now he says he already has a dad that loves him and that’s good enough for him. I’ve done a great job with that kid, manners, looks and brains. (yay me!)

   I still miss my dog terribly. It’s funny because when I look back to when Leslie dropped her off and Kevin was beyond pissed and I said “what difference will one more make?”. Well,  the few years she was here, she made all the difference in the world. I’ve gotten better about missing her, except when we went to Big Lots last week to get a mouse for my laptop. I was walking by the pet isle and said “oh wait I have to get a new toy for……” and then there I was balling in a store trying to hide from people and my husband looking at me like he would do anything to take my hurt away but now knowing how. Yeah, those days suck, but are getting farther and farther apart.

Good things…

 I’m finally down to 144. It’s coming off slower and slower and with the tires that refuse to hold air, my exercise routine is dwindling. I can only spend so much time on the treadmill without loosing my mind.